off my feet

It was early morning in Apollo Bay when my brother and I went out for a walk in the beach. I could not believe what I saw. I thought I was in a movie. An equestrian with her horse seemed to be warming up for the day. They ran in circles, and then far away from us, where the sea and the shore meets.

I was cold, and in much awe.

brimming from the inside

Apollo Bay, 2016

On my first day in Australia, our family drove to Apollo Bay to spend the weekend at the Great Ocean Road. The shot above is from the morning after, when I looked outside the window, thus, the ghost of my reflection.

As I looked outside, I could not believe that I was in another continent that is not Asia. I mean, who would have thought that a day would come that my family and I would spent a month in Australia — altogether. It was surreal.

It has been more than a year, and I haven't had the opportunity to tell stories of this trip since. A time in my life where I was in absolute peace. My mind was at rest. I was just me.

gion

If ever I get the chance to go back to Japan, I would love to see Gion again. It's the location setting of one of my favorite books, Memoirs of a Geisha, so it was a special moment to see it in real life.

I like how that one woman was walking fast against the flow, and outside of the railing.

Reminds me of the Grand Budapest Hotel.

My favorite shot of Gion, and of Japan. I love how the light here simply glows.

I didn't see it at first, but when I looked at this photo after months, I realized it looked like a painting. It's like the people were perfectly stationed and positioned at where they are :)

hey sally

Dear Friend,

It's been four months – the longest I've been away from this blog. Things have been the same, and not the same for me. I don't know if I'm able to go on with the details. I guess I'll just try anyway..

On film photography

A noticeable lack of updates here on the blog, and also in shooting. I've stopped shooting film during weekends or shooting casual daily life. Although I bring film and camera during out of town/country trips, I usually spend three rolls at most. 

I haven't had the time to stop and think about why I've cut down time on shooting. I don't think I've lost interest because other people's works keep me inspired on a regular basis. I get inspiration from other people every now and then. I guess the amount of inspiration is just not enough to get me moving to shoot for my own. And there's nothing wrong with that, I know.

On writing

Writing these days is absolutely hell. I've been documenting systems for years in my work, and I still think they are all pieces of shit that no one reads. Writing for myself, on the other hand, is torturous. I'm always hard on myself. Expressing my thoughts in writing just always feels depressing and stale. Reading my old posts, even just the recent ones, makes me nauseous. They are always tacky and unorganized. I'm glad to be able to write at this moment, but do note that my stomach also churns at the feel of it and it feels so dragging.

Life in general

• I can count in one hand the number of books I've read this year. I don't know, maybe I'm just really out of it.
• Graduate school is unexpectedly interesting, although I still have moments of doubt and weakness. 
• Sometimes I think of moving elsewhere and trying something else. All in mind, never in action.
• I still think I'm doing good in life, in the grand scheme of things. But I also feel that it is more difficult to live now with all the rage I feel when I stumble upon news about current events.
• I'm spending money more than I should

jch streetpan 400 in japan

Always curious and excited for new film, I tried out the new JCH StreetPan 400 film last month.

It was last year when the famous camera collector, Bellamy Hunt (aka JapanCameraHunter), launched his own black and white film. It's great to know how some people and companies still work hard to keep film alive. Although they always come with a price, it's very important to support the makers, because after all film doesn't grow on trees.

Early this year, I asked my good friend Gretzen, who is currently based in Tokyo for work, to buy me a couple of rolls of this film. Be grateful for friends who are willing to support your love for film :)

I thought, where's the best place to use JCH StreetPan 400? Hmm.. In Japan, of course ;)

Nipponbashi

I only had a few days to spend in Osaka, and barely had a moment to marinate myself in this city, so my approach was just to dive in and take snapshots of what's presented at me. I had very limited to time even think of composition.

Most shots were underexposed because, well, I am me. (It's frustrating when you use a straightforward P&S camera with the only thing you need to set is the aperture, and still not nail the exposure).

But in some photos where I had decent exposure, I simply like how the contrast just punch in you the face :)

Cool girls in Nipponbashi

In the narrow alleys of Gion :)

Damn, contrast!

Taxis in Gion <3

Tori gates in Fushimi Inari at Kyoto

Midnight crossing at Osaka, which brings such great memories <3

what drives me to shoot film

Dotonbori, Osaka, Japan

Depth. Character. Chemistry. These are the things that I would normally answer if someone would ask me why I shoot film.

But behind these "artistic" answers ─ lies the brutal truth: Frustration is what drives me to keep shooting film. Haha.

Frustration that comes from buying an expensive film, thinking you will shoot stunning photos with it, only to find out in the end that your vision is still the same from Day 1.

Takoyaki in the making

This is Cinestill 800T film. More expensive than the films that I shoot with, which are already expensive in the first place. Bought it for Php625 per roll (around $12), 36 shots, at Film Folk.

This is not to say that I'm complaining about how film makers and shops mark the price on their product; I totally accept it, and thankful for their existence and will to keep film alive. I'm frustrated at myself — for creating an illusion that a good film would somehow affect and improve my vision.

I cannot remember the last time I was exceptionally satisfied with my photos. Maybe I'm overthinking here, but I used to be over the moon with my own photos (lol self-absorbed much). These days, my satisfaction ratings usually are Okay to Meh to Why Did I Even Bother?

Pretty flowers in front of a temple in Kyoto.

Grilled scallops and the sungit scallop guy :p

My brain is so used to document memories, I usually just click away whenever I feel like it. I wish I could learn more to get into that creating mode.

A helpful Ate Gurl/Train Guide at a Shinkansen station

Kyoto rails

Though, when I think about it, it's not that bad if frustration is my driving factor. I keep on doing it anyway despite it. I guess, I wish that I was shooting because I'm creating photos that I like, instead of shooting away because I keep on chasing at least one good photo.

(Anyway..... Ang dami kong sinabi di ba? Pero ang ending I really do love film :) I keep it alive, because it makes me feel alive wow pinagsasabe, lol)

Anyway, on to a brief Cinestill 800T thoughts..

They're just thoughts because I'm not knowledgeable to talk about a film technically to call it a review. I mean, I literally, just shoot film.

• I did not expect the cool tones during daylight. I'm usually inclined to appreciate a photo for the warm colors, but the blues worked for me in this case.

• I feel stupid for discovering that I did not shoot an ISO 800 film during the night. I'll take note of this next time!

• I like the grain. Some shots are particularly grainy because of my miscalculation in metering, but in most shots where I think my exposure is acceptable, the grain doesn't make me want to jump off a cliff.

Japanese taxis are so elegant-looking, I could not keep my eyes off them when they're around.

my first roll of redscale film

It was my first time to shoot redscale film even after shooting film for four years. I'm telling you, I'm not experimental on things. I've said this before, I'm sure. I do things, and when I see that the way I do them works, I will stick to it for as long as I can.

I never bought any redscale film for a simple reason: I don't dig the red-stricken photos. So, it was only sensible that I spend my hard-earned money on films that I already enjoy or aspire shooting with, than on film that I'm not interested that much.

Good thing that last December, my Emulsive Secret Santa got me a loot of film photography goodies with a roll of Rollei Redbird in it. I've asked around the #believeinfilm community in Twitter (basically a bunch of awesome, helpful people) and researched a bit about it before popping it into my Minolta X-500 (my latest acquired SLR camera!)

Redbird was fresh and rated at 400, but to consider that I was going to shoot the other side of the film where there is a lot less of transparency (hence, the red tint), I shot it at ISO 100. Now that I've tried it, I was proven otherwise. I enjoy seeing the results :)

I did not know I would like seeing red and yellow until I saw them on my own photos. Ahh, science <3

And to add more fascination, I also got this awesome bluish tint on some of the frames. I'm trying to remember the settings I shot them with so I'd take note of it for my next redscale film. I really like this blue wash :)

If I get the chance to shoot with another redscale film, I would probably spend shooting the entire roll outdoors, in landscape and architecture, where there are a lot more details and shadows to play with.

In the end, I'm glad I get to try it. On a normal shooting day, I would enjoy more the actual shoot than seeing the results. But with redscale, it was the other way around. Variety is good, sometimes :) Note to self.