what drives me to shoot film

Dotonbori, Osaka, Japan

Depth. Character. Chemistry. These are the things that I would normally answer if someone would ask me why I shoot film.

But behind these "artistic" answers ─ lies the brutal truth: Frustration is what drives me to keep shooting film. Haha.

Frustration that comes from buying an expensive film, thinking you will shoot stunning photos with it, only to find out in the end that your vision is still the same from Day 1.

Takoyaki in the making

This is Cinestill 800T film. More expensive than the films that I shoot with, which are already expensive in the first place. Bought it for Php625 per roll (around $12), 36 shots, at Film Folk.

This is not to say that I'm complaining about how film makers and shops mark the price on their product; I totally accept it, and thankful for their existence and will to keep film alive. I'm frustrated at myself — for creating an illusion that a good film would somehow affect and improve my vision.

I cannot remember the last time I was exceptionally satisfied with my photos. Maybe I'm overthinking here, but I used to be over the moon with my own photos (lol self-absorbed much). These days, my satisfaction ratings usually are Okay to Meh to Why Did I Even Bother?

Pretty flowers in front of a temple in Kyoto.

Grilled scallops and the sungit scallop guy :p

My brain is so used to document memories, I usually just click away whenever I feel like it. I wish I could learn more to get into that creating mode.

A helpful Ate Gurl/Train Guide at a Shinkansen station

Kyoto rails

Though, when I think about it, it's not that bad if frustration is my driving factor. I keep on doing it anyway despite it. I guess, I wish that I was shooting because I'm creating photos that I like, instead of shooting away because I keep on chasing at least one good photo.

(Anyway..... Ang dami kong sinabi di ba? Pero ang ending I really do love film :) I keep it alive, because it makes me feel alive wow pinagsasabe, lol)

Anyway, on to a brief Cinestill 800T thoughts..

They're just thoughts because I'm not knowledgeable to talk about a film technically to call it a review. I mean, I literally, just shoot film.

• I did not expect the cool tones during daylight. I'm usually inclined to appreciate a photo for the warm colors, but the blues worked for me in this case.

• I feel stupid for discovering that I did not shoot an ISO 800 film during the night. I'll take note of this next time!

• I like the grain. Some shots are particularly grainy because of my miscalculation in metering, but in most shots where I think my exposure is acceptable, the grain doesn't make me want to jump off a cliff.

Japanese taxis are so elegant-looking, I could not keep my eyes off them when they're around.

taipei in black and white

secret garden in changdeokgung palace

Lovely couple <3

On a bed of ice

Ahjussis :)

welcome to nami island

Welcome to Nami Island :)

Love this candid photo of my parents :)

This is just small portion, but these trees are amazing <3

Mommy :)

korea: streets and people pt. ii

Little coffee shop in a truck

I wish I took a better photo of this woman. I like her overall look, esp those glasses.

Kim Soo Hyun :">

One of my favorite shots in this trip :)

Namdaemun Market. Look at that crowd!

Ahjummas! :)

korea: streets and people pt. i

This is the thing when you write about a place a year after: I do not know where to start anymore. 

I guess I'll just start by saying I was not keen to go to Korea at all before. Maybe because 1) I've never traveled to a country that required a visa; 2) Applying for visa seemed risky to me; 3) I was not familiar to their culture (yet).

The idea to make it the next country to visit came from my Dad whom I've heard wanted to go to there. But later on, I found out that it was actually Japan, and not Korea, haha. Whatever.

I booked the tickets 9 months before the trip and kept the thought aside for a couple more months until I began getting hook to a Korean drama. By the time we get to Korea, I was excited, pumped up and ready to fangirl squee.

We went in February, in the midst of winter. Living in a tropical country for my entire life, the cold did not NOT bother me anyway, hehe.

Incheon airport is almost an hour away from Seoul, so for the most part all I saw was dry land. As the bus turned to go in the city, this was the moment I still could not forget until today: I felt like I entered some vortex and got transported into a very foreign, yet cinematic street view.

Overcast weather, crowds of black winter coats walking, leafless trees arranged in rows by the sidewalk.

I was alienated in the beginning. But over time, that alienation turned into fascination. Everything seemed appealing to my senses.

Every corner I pan my sight to is straight out of a K-drama scene (well, obviously!). I was literally, happily, in it.

The cold is paralyzing, that's one drawback for me. But the cold seemed to be the meaning of it all. It established the real feel of being in Korea.

It's a country that I could visit over, and over again. 

I used Kodak Portra 160 and 400 alternately, but some mishap happened in scanning in the first film lab I went to that I had to rescan them to another lab. I don't know too if the scanner in Incheon airport screwed up my film because you'll notice how different the tones are when they are only from the same roll.

Spotted this couple who brought a Nikon film camera with them :)