the sunday currently vol. 8

I was gearing up toward a Friday's 10 Happy Things post before the weekend, but didn't have the time to do so because of back-to-back dinners after work so, TSC it is. I don't know what exactly I find pleasurable in writing a list of things that has happened to me or that amused me, and then put them out here thinking that it would be good enough for others' reading consumption. Haha. 

(I went on and on at this part of writing but decided to delete it because I don't know what's the point of my thought and/or where I was headed.)

Anyway.....

Currently...

Reading

I was on a reading streak for months but lost it mid-August because I got so engaged and lovestruck with My Love From The Star and I was not able to pick up my reading pace again after that. In short, I'm not in the mood to read a book these days. Speaking of MLFTS, this is not related to reading, but I'm going to go down that path anyway: Man, that koreanovela ruined me. It could probably be because it's my first koreanovela, but I really believe that show had the perfect formula. The way Jun Ji Hyun cries is just..... gut-wrenching. I will always remember that show as my one great love. Haha. 

Writing

Some notes and questions for design projects.

Listening

Overhearing the neighbor's conversations. (A guy steps on poo and tells his mom about it. Mom warns him about taking his footwear inside the house. Hahaha.)

Thinking

Lately, I've been thinking about making modifications around this blog and some sort of direction because my domain turns 2 years old next month. I am not aspiring to be any kind of a blogger, but I currently dream of a nice, interesting layout. Thoughts?

Smelling
Kimi peacefully settled next to me.

Wishing

Ella and I have been spending the last two weekends on data and system analysis, which is seldom because we, or I, at least, want to break away from technical stuff during non-working days as much as possible. It's just amazing to see and talk to someone who knows where she's good at and makes a long-term career out of it. Sometimes, in the middle of her explanation, my mind would snap out of the conversation and wish that I was good at something technical instead.

Hoping

I hope the fairy godmother of discipline sprinkles me with a lot of magic to control my expenses.

Wearing

My ultimate lounge clothes :D

Loving

The List App.

Wanting

To finally let go of my grudges and secret hate to some people. I know how unhealthy this is to my own well-being, but as much as I try, I still get very annoyed by them. Help, any tips?

Needing

I've made a decision and took a risk last week despite the possibility of getting myself into "trouble". The ball won't start rolling until next year so there's nothing yet to worry about. But I will need an open mind and understanding by then. 

Feeling

A bit worried because there's a strong typhoon here again and I hear the wind strongly swoops in from time to time. Also, electricity just got off a few minutes ago and I haven't prepared anything for tomorrow. Most importantly, how do I post this TSC too?

Clicking

Emails.

The Sunday Currently blog link-up

the sunday currently vol. 7

Currently...

Reading

I'm reading Tess Stimson's Who Loves You Best, one of the books I bought from the 20-peso book sale. I think I might finish it this week because I sat with it on a 1.5-hour bus ride along EDSA on a Friday night, so now I'm 3/4 way to the end. I love getting sucked in by a book. If not for it, I would have been out of my mind because of traffic.

I'm actually outreading myself on this one-book-per-month challenge. Last month, I've read two books, one of which is June Casagrande's It Was the Best of Sentences, It Was the Worst of Sentences. With it, I have learned one of the best life lessons one could get out of a grammar book (well, besides the actual grammar lessons):

For one thing, if you're going to swear, fucking swear already.

Yes, Ma'am.

Writing

A lot, quite surprisingly. I found myself writing on one of my journals twice the other day. I said one of my journals, if you missed that. When did I become the jot-everything-down person?

But I'm enjoying this person, to be honest. I'm more open to my journals now than I've ever been on any written form/material. Something is really going down in me.

Listening

Nothing.

Thinking

It truly is beginning to dawn on me, that *WELP* I really might not get married someday. There, I said it! For the longest time, I was never resolved to say it out loud, here or anywhere, in my own words, but there it is. I just told my mum this, too, and I think I got her worried? Haha.

(Oh, but I know that if my 40-year old self is going to read this, she would laugh and cringe at the pettiness of this concern.)

Smelling
Nothing.

Wishing

It's been bugging me for a while: I want to re-read Harry Potter. But when I do so, I wish to read my own copy of the series (because I only borrowed from my college friends back then). And I'd like the books to be the non-Scholastic ones. I really do have a set of specifications for this one, apparently :D

Hoping

I was assigned to do the quarterly presentations next week, and I just hope that I don't embarrass myself too much this time. I'm too old to feel like a newbie!

I tried to practice the whole thing and I got sooo tired from talking. How do people do these things for a living?!

Wearing

The usual pambahay.

Loving

Every relaxing moment I can get for myself these days. Like this morning, I woke up and indulged on missed Aldub episodes (hahaha yes), and then I tucked myself in again with some Mama Lou's left overs, a cup of teh tarik and a book. I love feeling snug, basically.

Wanting

Just to pay the rest of the bills so I could start saving money, like, for real.

Needing

I don't know what I exactly need these days, I'm just pensive. I completely have no idea where this comes from. All I know is that if I could escape being an adult right now and not actively participate in life, then where do I sign up? Ahhh, maybe I need something to look forward to. That.

Feeling

Mmmlahh.

Clicking

• This beautiful meditation on the elusive nature of joy by Anais Nin. HOMERUN.

Over and over again I sail towards joy, which is never in the room with me, but always near me, across the way, like those rooms full of gayety one sees from the street, or the gayety in the street one sees from a window. Will I ever reach joy? It hides behind the turning merry-go-round of the traveling circus. As soon as I approach it, it is no longer joy. Joy is a foam, an illumination. I am poorer and hungrier for the want of it. When I am in the dance, joy is outside in the elusive garden. When I am in the garden, I hear it exploding from the house. When I am traveling, joy settles like an aurora borealis over the land I leave. When I stand on the shore I see it bloom on the flag of a departing ship. What joy? Have I not possessed it? I want the joy of simple colors, street organs, ribbons, flags, not a joy that takes my breath away and throws me into space alone where no one else can breathe with me, not the joy that comes from a lonely drunkenness. There are so many joys, but I have only known the ones that come like a miracle, touching everything with light.

• I'm not yet in mid-life, but this. I also shared the article on my Facebook because I felt like my singlehood has been on the spotlight for the past week, and I want to kind of let them know. Don't you want to knock people off their high horse sometimes? With a baseball bat? Embellished with spikes? Let me share a line from the article that I relate myself with so much:

Tracy is lucky to have a travel companion but she gets grief for that: "My best friend and I have been accused of being lesbians because we don't date, we take vacations together, and spend a lot of time together. I don't get it. We enjoy each other's company -- who else are we supposed to spend time with?"

The Sunday Currently blog link-up

the sunday currently vol. 6

Currently...

Reading

Harlan Coben's Tell No One, which was lent to me by my morning commute buddy, Chez. A short backstory, Chez and I used to be in a car pool on our way to work with 3 other people. Because I usually read on commute, she noticed, we had a little chit-chat about books, and then she was kind enough to lend me two books by Harlan Coben. It's been a while since I've read mystery novels -- although I've enjoyed it every time I get to read Robin Cook or Dan Brown.

Writing

Haha. Nada, other than the obvious. I've stopped writing on a journal for the last three months, which is no shock based on my records. 

Listening

Been listening to a lot of gut-wrenching, heart-hammering, self-inflicted hurt songs since the rainy season began haha. We are all guilty of this, I guess? :) Speaking of songs, something incredible happened yesterday. Because of the rain for the past days, I've been stuck with one of the most-played rain-themed OPM songs: Regine Velasquez's cover of Tuwing Umuulan. Haha, it's a classic, but also a very cheesy and snuggly song to listen to. So I was in a mall yesterday and then it turns out Regine is having one of her mall tours, and then she sang it! back to back with her rendition of Araw-Gabi, which is my all-time favorite OPM song. My mind imploded, basically.

Fact: Both songs are composed by the genius Ryan Cayabyab, who has perfected the art of  delicately describing how it is to love and let that love bleed profusely without bluntly saying I love you. God.

Thinking

Being 28 is the most comfortable skin and state of mind I've ever been in. I am certainly blessed to have this consciousness that reminds and makes me realize that everything that is going for me in life right now does not fall short of what I've wanted in a simple life, to say the least.

Smelling
Kimi's urine-soiled floor. Ughlk.

Wishing

To close the gap of my 6-month photo backlog.

Hoping

I really hope to wake up to a consistent early routine. I am so bad at tapping the alarm, and then going back to sleep completely, and then waking up 30 minutes later shocked and rushed at everything.

Wearing

A super comfy tee from Bench, which I wouldn't mind to have 20 pieces of and wear every day, and running shorts.

Loving

I've rediscovered my love (first love) for making videos, and I've missed that high from stitching scenes with the music bed.

Wanting

To bleed these realizations into written form.

Needing

To find time and the right mood and nook to do the above.

Feeling

Love in the unromantic but in the realest, most satisfying way.

Clicking

My blog layout. Popped up some of the label lists and widgets back in here. If I could just gather the willingness to learn CSS, but nope. Lazy ass wins.

The Sunday Currently blog link-up

the sunday currently vol. 5

Currently...

Reading

My book of choice for May has not been settled yet. The plan was to read one book per month, and the last I've touched was Arthur Golden's Memoirs of a Geisha, which was for April. When I went to Pangasinan over the holy week, the travel time took longer than expected (actually, it was kind of expected because of the long weekend traffic) so I had the luxury of devouring Sayuri's story in only three or so days. I must say, that book got a hold of me in a way that Khaled Hosseini did with his A Thousand Splendid Suns. I watched the film adaptation immediately after finishing the book, and I kind of got hooked into the disturbingly brilliance of Gong Li's interpretation of Hatsumomo. It probably took me a week or two to get over the fangirling, haha. That woman is a fountain of youth.

I'm optimistic toward having some time to read while on my next trip. We'll see. I still got two weeks to finish a book. I'm leaning toward Rainbow Rowell's Landline. Anyone who has read it already?

Writing

I'm sort of in hiding when it comes to writing. Got a bit preoccupied in April, and didn't get a decent time to sit down and allow myself to extract things. You'd probably notice too how my nonchalance reflected on this blog, and that's because I didn't want to pressure myself for something that is suppose to relieve stress or free my mind. Then, I caught a viral infection right on the first day of May, which nailed me down to the bed for a week. So I was practically doing and being nothing then. The prompts started to take a pause too, but I impulsively created a TinyLetter account because I was so inspired by Carina's letters. I still haven't sent anything; don't know if I really will, but the act of sending thoughts to a small group of people was just so attractive and felt intimate to me. Like I could actually write something about the stuff that I hesitate to do so here on the blog because sometimes they just seem so irrelevant and futile. I really don't know.

Listening

The whirring sound of the air-conditioning, which I have been abusing for the past two weeks, but that's because it's just ridiculously hot in here at this time. I'm currently not into any song or type of music, except for Cadbury's very catchy jingle haha.

Thinking

I know I'm so used to complaining about the small stuff everyday and stressing myself over adult things, like, what should I be next year, is this really what I want to do, should I stay or go, is it okay to make my interests known, (and why is this sentence so long and has a lot of commas) but really, when it's all quiet and my real voice speaks up, all it says is how grateful I am to be at this point in life. I am simply content and happy right now, or maybe for the last months, significantly since 2015 started.

Smelling
The inside of my nose. Inception, and disgusting, right? :D

Wishing

I'm not really into makeup ever since, in fact the only cosmetic I use is lipstick, and eyeliner if I really have the time, but lately I am getting interested into buying myself some mascara. I just cannot completely sell the thought to myself because I'm afraid it will just smudge around when I absent-mindedly scratch my eyes like an improper girl would do. Is there such a thing as a proper girl to begin with? What?

Hoping

To write sensibly. I think this is my hope in perpetuity.

Wearing

Shorts and shirt.

Loving

My first photography book: Jay Maisel's Light Color Gesture, which I have been wanting and expressively wishing for months! My bestfriend gave it to me as a birthday present, and I could not have honestly ask for anything more for my birthday. It's currently lounging here in my room because I love looking at it looking back at me hahaha. I'm just savoring the feel of having that something you've wished for, for so long. I'm intentionally not finishing it because I want to take my time :)

Wanting

This coming Wednesday night ;)

Needing

To finish laundry, change bed sheets and make a fort for myself so I could continue watching Season 2 of House of Cards. I just dropped my jaw in the middle of episode 1.

Feeling

Relaxed.

Clicking

Recently discovered the Youtube couple Rose and Rosie (whom I'm reminded of my babe Jessica Capshaw, my babe talaga?), and I've been watching their videos one by one since. It's really unfair how these girls are articulate, pretty funny and so attractive with their British accents. My nights are not officially done too without some dose of Jimmy Fallon, whom I've easily grown a mild crush on because of his cute snicker! :">

The Sunday Currently blog link-up

the sunday currently vol. 4

Currently...

Reading

Only a few pages away from finishing The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I have been folding some of its pages as tabs so I could flip through the ideas that I thought were very wise when I want to re-read them (e.g., It's easy to be heavy; hard to be light).

Writing

Queenie and I have agreed to write prompts again four times a week. We have completed the first week, but I completely failed on the second week because I did not have any time to even open my laptop when I get home at night. Topics vary, depending on the second word of Huffington Post's headline of the day :)

Listening

I have been listening to a lot of old school R&B for a dose of nostalgia lately, plus a bunch of instrumental songs to help me get focused while working. Because of the former, I realized that Brandy really knows all the facets and feels of a girl on the verge of falling in and out of love (Sabe??) From Sittin' Up In My Room to Brokenhearted to Have You Ever? I don't think I will ever get out of late 90s/early 2000s music.

Thinking

About how I might have jeopardized a chance. I really need to stop myself from spoiling life's little gifts of fun.

Smelling

These stale barbeque chips beside me.

Wishing

That things are not over.

Hoping

If the aforementioned "things" are not over, that they start/resume and go on naturally, in its rightful time. Also hoping that my finances will cover themselves up, heh.

Wearing

my heart on my sleeve. NOT.

Loving

The travels and activities lying ahead :) I cannot wait to do what I love after weeks of (what seemed to be) never-ending tasks. Also a bit excited for some ways that I thought of to celebrate April! :)

Wanting

To write, and somehow document this current frame of mind/heart.

Needing

A generous time to look inside that tiny viewfinder, squint my other eye, hold my breath and release it two seconds after I press the shutter.

Feeling

Hopeful. As always.

Clicking

Tumblr.

The Sunday Currently blog link-up

the sunday currently vol. 3

Currently...

Reading

I began March with David Nicholls' Starter for Ten, which, by the feel of it, is probably not going to stick with me for the rest of the month. So I decided to start The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, which I just picked up yesterday despite having four other books in my reading queue. I feel ashamed for being this way, but sometimes, it really just depends on your reading category mood.

Writing
is still as elusive as it was to me 10 years ago. I usually laugh at myself and ask if I will ever find my writing voice, and why am I so persistent for thinking that it exists somewhere, to begin with.

Listening
to the whirring sound of the electric fan, barking of the dogs and roaring motors of tricycles in the street.

Thinking

I have been thinking a lot about almost everything recently. From should I sell some of my film cameras? To how far long should I hang on to my day job? To how do I squeeze in photography in a daily basis and what should be my strategy? The things I ask myself should bother me, because it only does involve me. Phew.

Smelling
the black, thick, grease dripping from the engine, waiting to be set in motion for another Monday morning.

Wishing
I wish I do have the same urgency when I am trying to figure out things in my life as to how I can help other people with what I have already figured out for myself. Basically, just to be less engrossed on the details of my own life and really realize that the world is HUGE and there are far more important things that needs to be overanalyzed.

Hoping
to be more present and be mindful, especially with my relationships to people.

Wearing
Oversized shirt and boxers.

Loving
My bestfriend gave me a Mighty Bright book light which will change and add up to the whole reading experience! ♥

Wanting
more quiet, free time to actually write (and not just mind-scribbling all the thoughts on a train ride). Also, to shoot more, if not exclusively with, black and white film.

Needing
Long days and nights of mind-boggling, life-figuring, conversations.

Feeling
Tenderly :)

Clicking
Agoda smart deals :D

The Sunday Currently blog link-up

the sunday currently vol. 2

Currently...

Reading
Not That Kind of Girl by Lena Dunham. STILL. STILL! I'm really a slow reader. And a sucker for sentence fluency that I sometimes spend several more moments to marvel how a few simple words can be stitched so perfectly together.

Writing
Finishing a manual due tomorrow for review. Working weekend, it is.

Listening
I have Sam Smith's I'm Not the Only One on repeat. Again. Which reminds me, he's coming to Manila in May. Hmm.

Thinking
Being alone does not make one's time any less important than those who are occupied.

Smelling
Coffee beside me.

Wishing
That I have the power of invisibility when shooting in public. Especially for portraits. But that goddamn thing called creepiness is eating me always, and alive!

Hoping
I hope for a disciplined mind to silence my monthly finances, from now until forever hahaha!
(Also hoping for films from Singapore this week heehee)

Wearing
A shirt from yesterday, and a boxer shorts.

Loving
ShootTokyo's Dublin shots. My stomach churns at the sight of them!
Also, loving this beautiful afternoon light shining from the window to the keys of my laptop right now.

Wanting
Because of the aforementioned shots, I'm all of sudden wanting a 28mm lens. Something tells me we're better together than a 50mm. Someone's a ticking time bomb.

Needing
Calzona back in my life. But Arizona alone will do haha! Only 4 days to go, babe!

Feeling
A nagging urge for a solo trip and photowalk.

Clicking
Grand Budapest Hotel in 1080p.

The Sunday Currently blog link-up

the sunday currently vol. 1

Been wanting to do The Sunday Currently series since November, but decided to just start it appropriately at the beginning of the year.

Currently...

Reading Not That Kind of Girl by Lena Dunham. Still picking up the humor, but some parts do make me chuckle.

Writing an application form for National Bookstore's Loyalty Card :D I seriously don't know why I don't have one yet.

Listening to a lot of jazz piano music lately. Makes me feel I'm in a romcom movie haha! I have zero knowledge with the genre, but I have two Keith Jarrett albums so far, so if you know more, please do recommend! :)

Thinking how to lose this holiday weight gain without exerting any major efforts :D :D :D

Smelling nothing.

Wishing for a Ricoh GR1.

Hoping to have enough resilience for this year.

Wearing a sando and my seven year-old P.E. shorts.

Loving the shots I get to take with my Leila :)

Wanting to go North. Ilocos, La Union or Batanes. But Batanes, mostly!

Needing to update and sort my music library, and finish the rest of the calendars.

Feeling clingy to the holidays. I will miss waking up at 10 AM :( and having the time to update this blog almost everyday.

Clicking torrent links, PostSecret, The Phoblographer, Tumblr

The Sunday Currently blog link-up